Holiday Travel with the Kids: How to Deal

Personally, I had rather travel with someone's pet in the cabin than with a lot of the children and their inconsiderate parents I've had the misfortune to fly with. I've had kids kicking the back of my seat all the way across the U.S., had them hanging over the back of my seat, and had an infant, whose mother insisted should be in in the seat that I had been assigned, passed across my plate as I was trying to eat so that the father, who was seated across the aisle, could change the dirty diaper. And never mind the fact that the already crowded overhead bins are taken up with backpacks full of toys and whatever for all the little darlings so that other travelers have to put their one,small, necessary carry-on under their feet for a four hour flight. And did I mention the screaming and whining and running up and down the aisles, nearly tripping the flight attendants? Give me Fido any day.

by Bonne nuit on Thursday, November 27, 2008

We flew with small children for many years, without any problems, because like all the caring, responsible parents posting to this blog we prepared our kids ahead of time, planned for food/drink/distractions on board, and firmly enforced expectations of appropriate behavior.

As a now-older traveler, here are my three strategies for dealing with other people's misbehaving children when trapped on an airplane with them: 1) wear earplugs to cut down on their crying/noise; 2) remind myself that I and every other adult was once a screaming, fussy, irritating baby/child (who may grow up to cure cancer, govern a state, or invent TiVo); 3) offer the overwhelmed or oblivious parent a kind word of support/empathy, a suggestion, or even help entertaining their child. They're unlikely to accept the offer, but the kindness may help them get back in control of an unmanageable kid.

by Bruce on Friday, October 03, 2008

I'm not a parent, but I want to thank all who commented, for their great, common-sense suggestions. I *CAN* comment on what *not* to do with your kids. The last flight I took, the parents behind me had a baby that looked to be about 10 months old. They brought NOTHING for the poor kid (on a flight from Seattle to Milwaukee!) because "he always sleeps!" The only thing the father could find to occupy the wide-awake child was the tray-table on the back of my seat, which he would pick up, drop with a SLAM, pick up, drop with a SLAM, over & over. I very politely turned around and said I understood they were trying to keep the child occupied, but could they please not let him play with the tray table? Every time he did it, it felt like I was getting kicked in the back. The Dad's reply? "Maybe you should have shelled out the bucks for First Class. It's either that or he screams." Luckily, the flight attendant had been coming down the aisle right then, heard what he said, and made him make the kid stop. He told her he had nothing for the kid (including food or drink; he had to get juice from the flight attendant!) because "he always sleeps". And turned down a coloring book & crayons (which was all she had) because "He'd just eat them." I don't have kids, and even *I* know you can't count on a kid sleeping through a flight!

by Sayhello on Thursday, October 02, 2008

We took our last trip when our son was 18mos across country (been traveling with him since an infant) and I found out that a little planning does goes a long way! First, I searched for flights that were during his nap and/or snack times. And yes, we did all the things listed in the other blogs, (let him run in the airport, - the child harnes works great for this-bring the treats/toys,-at minimum 1 toy or treat per hour of flight- favorite snacks etc.) but we also gave him Benadryl right before boarding. This gave us a chance to rest for a bit and recoup our strength which helped all of us from getting grumpy. We even had extra toys/books left over that we used while on vacation in the restaurants since we were already prepared for the return flight. We also brought along his sippy cup! Not only did it help when we were on the plane, but it came in handy while on vacation. During the takeoff/landings he would drink from his cup, which he was used too or I would give him his nuk. (Pacifier) If my ears were adjusting I made sure that he was either sucking on the nuk, eating something chewy or drinking. Having the window seat also helped. Our son was mesmerized! Just like some of you, we did talk to him before leaving (two weeks prior) to take away the fear and explained in simple language that the "plane goes up, up up and down, down down". (Using our hand as the plane.) He got it! Keeping him entertained and happy (ears)was work, but we received compliments after the flight. Even the flight attendant mentioned that she wished every parent had the forethought we used.

by Sue on Thursday, October 02, 2008

Ditto to all of the parents recommending bringing diversions for their children. Do what you would for a very long car ride, meaning having a lot of variety.

1)You, as the parent, shouldn't expect any rest as long as your child is awake. Sorry, you've got to be on the ball.

2)No matter what it takes, tire out that kid before boarding so that they sleep for as long as possible during the flight
2)My real hint, and I know it will be controversial, involves overseas flights. Ask your pediatrician for a prescription for liquid valium and take it with you. A baby or toddler will need only a tiny amount, and it's only intended to give them the tiny push to help them sleep. That's usually the biggest problem, they're wound up and in unfamiliar surroundings and just can't fall asleep, even though they're desperately tired. You, as the parent, know when your child is there. For most flights you won't need this, but for that small percentage of times when you will, it's worth its weight in gold. (I might add that I'm not a proponent of unnecessary medicating. We don't even take medications for colds in our family, nor have medicated the kids for ear infections. I'm truly not a fan of pharmaceuticals, but I think that they have their place as 'emergency measures'. Torturing a plane load of people for hours on end counts, in my book, as such.) 3)Alternatively, for people absolutely against medication, catnip drops or catnip tea have a sedative effect and are widely used in Europe to calm. Research this first to educate yourself, then try to have an amount acceptable to airport security in an appropriate-sized bottle.

by Heidi on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I totally agree with the snacks and entertainment. It's also very important to have a water bottle or cup to fill up for the kids. Avoid dehydration to avoid headaches, and then vomitting from the headache medicine. (I tell you I had to get extra vomit bags from surrounding passengers. No Fun!)

But something no one has mentioned yet: spend extra to fly a kid friendly airline!

Any airline that has tv in front of each seat is kid friendly. Always check their website to see if they offer kid meals, kids activity packs, cartoon channels, or video game channels. I have flown with a 6 yr old to Europe on British Airways. It worked out great for all the reasons listed.

I am flying in 2 wks to Scotland again with another one of my sons who is 7. I spend extra for Virgin for those same reasons: kids meals, activity packs, several children's tv channels, video game opportunities, as well as being able to actually block inapporiate content in their tv! Research the airline and it's kid amenities it is TOTALLY WORTH IT!

by Heather on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

When my kids were small I had a backpack for each child- they got to fill it with all their favorite toys for the trip- I then filled my own backpack with little "gifts" that I wrapped - unwrapping the "gift" took time and it was something new to keep them occupied. The gifts were not expensive a new coloring book, crayons, matchbox car. I also had some snacks in my bag for them. As they got older portable DVD players are great and if they like to read a new book.

by Lynn on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

All these ideas are great and I agree that you should bring entertainment, extra food, change of clothes, etc., but I think there's an extra step. Prior to any flight we take with our now 3 year old we review the 4 essential plane rules:
1) NO kicking the seat in front
2) Inside voice only
3) She will sit down and put on her seat belt when we tell her to
4) No playing "up and down" with the tray

We review these every day for a 2 weeks before the flight and they are non-negotiable. We've had compliments with her on every flight and we've done some LONG ones (upwards of 6 hrs.) A little preparation of what they can expect helps to demystify the process and put you back in charge. Remember, you're the parent.

Sometimes, stuff just happens. We've also found it helps to diffuse the situation before it erupts. When we get on the plane and we're getting "the look" from other passengers that says "please don't be sitting next to me" we announce to everyone around us that we will do our best and worse case scenario, we have lots of cash to buy drinks to make it more palatable. It always breaks the ice and lets them know we're aware that flying next to a kid isn't always pleasant and we'll do our best. We've yet to have someone take us up on it.

by Kristin Engdahl on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My kids (5 & 3) have flown since they were infants. Like most other parents, we try and make goodie bags for the flights. I'm always searching for the latest form of amusement. On a recent trip, I found Trunki - basically it is a trunk on wheels but is molded for the kids to ride on. The kids loved it. They were able to scoot around, each held their worldly belongings, and we didn't have to bring our huge stroller! We got many compliments so the kids felt extra special. Overall, a great gimmick!

by Paula on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

When our kids were little we would have them sit crisscross applesauce to keep from kicking the seat in front. Since they are older now we try to book a non emergency row bulkhead (no seat in front, no kicking the seat). If that's not an option we sit two and two, one group in front of the other. Our youngest sits in the set behind and the res all take turns changing seats. The kicker kicks a family member. We still gather fun things for the kids and package it up in a gift bag ( don't wrap anything, TSA will get the fun of opening it up.) The Kids enjoy having something to discover and we have the joy of seeing how well we know our kids.

by Robin on Wednesday, October 01, 2008