Holiday Travel with the Kids: How to Deal

Personally, I had rather travel with someone's pet in the cabin than with a lot of the children and their inconsiderate parents I've had the misfortune to fly with. I've had kids kicking the back of my seat all the way across the U.S., had them hanging over the back of my seat, and had an infant, whose mother insisted should be in in the seat that I had been assigned, passed across my plate as I was trying to eat so that the father, who was seated across the aisle, could change the dirty diaper. And never mind the fact that the already crowded overhead bins are taken up with backpacks full of toys and whatever for all the little darlings so that other travelers have to put their one,small, necessary carry-on under their feet for a four hour flight. And did I mention the screaming and whining and running up and down the aisles, nearly tripping the flight attendants? Give me Fido any day.

by Bonne nuit on Thursday, November 27, 2008

We flew with small children for many years, without any problems, because like all the caring, responsible parents posting to this blog we prepared our kids ahead of time, planned for food/drink/distractions on board, and firmly enforced expectations of appropriate behavior.

As a now-older traveler, here are my three strategies for dealing with other people's misbehaving children when trapped on an airplane with them: 1) wear earplugs to cut down on their crying/noise; 2) remind myself that I and every other adult was once a screaming, fussy, irritating baby/child (who may grow up to cure cancer, govern a state, or invent TiVo); 3) offer the overwhelmed or oblivious parent a kind word of support/empathy, a suggestion, or even help entertaining their child. They're unlikely to accept the offer, but the kindness may help them get back in control of an unmanageable kid.

by Bruce on Friday, October 03, 2008

I'm not a parent, but I want to thank all who commented, for their great, common-sense suggestions. I *CAN* comment on what *not* to do with your kids. The last flight I took, the parents behind me had a baby that looked to be about 10 months old. They brought NOTHING for the poor kid (on a flight from Seattle to Milwaukee!) because "he always sleeps!" The only thing the father could find to occupy the wide-awake child was the tray-table on the back of my seat, which he would pick up, drop with a SLAM, pick up, drop with a SLAM, over & over. I very politely turned around and said I understood they were trying to keep the child occupied, but could they please not let him play with the tray table? Every time he did it, it felt like I was getting kicked in the back. The Dad's reply? "Maybe you should have shelled out the bucks for First Class. It's either that or he screams." Luckily, the flight attendant had been coming down the aisle right then, heard what he said, and made him make the kid stop. He told her he had nothing for the kid (including food or drink; he had to get juice from the flight attendant!) because "he always sleeps". And turned down a coloring book & crayons (which was all she had) because "He'd just eat them." I don't have kids, and even *I* know you can't count on a kid sleeping through a flight!

by Sayhello on Thursday, October 02, 2008

We took our last trip when our son was 18mos across country (been traveling with him since an infant) and I found out that a little planning does goes a long way! First, I searched for flights that were during his nap and/or snack times. And yes, we did all the things listed in the other blogs, (let him run in the airport, - the child harnes works great for this-bring the treats/toys,-at minimum 1 toy or treat per hour of flight- favorite snacks etc.) but we also gave him Benadryl right before boarding. This gave us a chance to rest for a bit and recoup our strength which helped all of us from getting grumpy. We even had extra toys/books left over that we used while on vacation in the restaurants since we were already prepared for the return flight. We also brought along his sippy cup! Not only did it help when we were on the plane, but it came in handy while on vacation. During the takeoff/landings he would drink from his cup, which he was used too or I would give him his nuk. (Pacifier) If my ears were adjusting I made sure that he was either sucking on the nuk, eating something chewy or drinking. Having the window seat also helped. Our son was mesmerized! Just like some of you, we did talk to him before leaving (two weeks prior) to take away the fear and explained in simple language that the "plane goes up, up up and down, down down". (Using our hand as the plane.) He got it! Keeping him entertained and happy (ears)was work, but we received compliments after the flight. Even the flight attendant mentioned that she wished every parent had the forethought we used.

by Sue on Thursday, October 02, 2008

When my kids were small I had a backpack for each child- they got to fill it with all their favorite toys for the trip- I then filled my own backpack with little "gifts" that I wrapped - unwrapping the "gift" took time and it was something new to keep them occupied. The gifts were not expensive a new coloring book, crayons, matchbox car. I also had some snacks in my bag for them. As they got older portable DVD players are great and if they like to read a new book.

by Lynn on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Ditto to all of the parents recommending bringing diversions for their children. Do what you would for a very long car ride, meaning having a lot of variety.

1)You, as the parent, shouldn't expect any rest as long as your child is awake. Sorry, you've got to be on the ball.

2)No matter what it takes, tire out that kid before boarding so that they sleep for as long as possible during the flight
2)My real hint, and I know it will be controversial, involves overseas flights. Ask your pediatrician for a prescription for liquid valium and take it with you. A baby or toddler will need only a tiny amount, and it's only intended to give them the tiny push to help them sleep. That's usually the biggest problem, they're wound up and in unfamiliar surroundings and just can't fall asleep, even though they're desperately tired. You, as the parent, know when your child is there. For most flights you won't need this, but for that small percentage of times when you will, it's worth its weight in gold. (I might add that I'm not a proponent of unnecessary medicating. We don't even take medications for colds in our family, nor have medicated the kids for ear infections. I'm truly not a fan of pharmaceuticals, but I think that they have their place as 'emergency measures'. Torturing a plane load of people for hours on end counts, in my book, as such.) 3)Alternatively, for people absolutely against medication, catnip drops or catnip tea have a sedative effect and are widely used in Europe to calm. Research this first to educate yourself, then try to have an amount acceptable to airport security in an appropriate-sized bottle.

by Heidi on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I totally agree with the snacks and entertainment. It's also very important to have a water bottle or cup to fill up for the kids. Avoid dehydration to avoid headaches, and then vomitting from the headache medicine. (I tell you I had to get extra vomit bags from surrounding passengers. No Fun!)

But something no one has mentioned yet: spend extra to fly a kid friendly airline!

Any airline that has tv in front of each seat is kid friendly. Always check their website to see if they offer kid meals, kids activity packs, cartoon channels, or video game channels. I have flown with a 6 yr old to Europe on British Airways. It worked out great for all the reasons listed.

I am flying in 2 wks to Scotland again with another one of my sons who is 7. I spend extra for Virgin for those same reasons: kids meals, activity packs, several children's tv channels, video game opportunities, as well as being able to actually block inapporiate content in their tv! Research the airline and it's kid amenities it is TOTALLY WORTH IT!

by Heather on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

When our kids were little we would have them sit crisscross applesauce to keep from kicking the seat in front. Since they are older now we try to book a non emergency row bulkhead (no seat in front, no kicking the seat). If that's not an option we sit two and two, one group in front of the other. Our youngest sits in the set behind and the res all take turns changing seats. The kicker kicks a family member. We still gather fun things for the kids and package it up in a gift bag ( don't wrap anything, TSA will get the fun of opening it up.) The Kids enjoy having something to discover and we have the joy of seeing how well we know our kids.

by Robin on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

All these ideas are great and I agree that you should bring entertainment, extra food, change of clothes, etc., but I think there's an extra step. Prior to any flight we take with our now 3 year old we review the 4 essential plane rules:
1) NO kicking the seat in front
2) Inside voice only
3) She will sit down and put on her seat belt when we tell her to
4) No playing "up and down" with the tray

We review these every day for a 2 weeks before the flight and they are non-negotiable. We've had compliments with her on every flight and we've done some LONG ones (upwards of 6 hrs.) A little preparation of what they can expect helps to demystify the process and put you back in charge. Remember, you're the parent.

Sometimes, stuff just happens. We've also found it helps to diffuse the situation before it erupts. When we get on the plane and we're getting "the look" from other passengers that says "please don't be sitting next to me" we announce to everyone around us that we will do our best and worse case scenario, we have lots of cash to buy drinks to make it more palatable. It always breaks the ice and lets them know we're aware that flying next to a kid isn't always pleasant and we'll do our best. We've yet to have someone take us up on it.

by Kristin Engdahl on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My kids (5 & 3) have flown since they were infants. Like most other parents, we try and make goodie bags for the flights. I'm always searching for the latest form of amusement. On a recent trip, I found Trunki - basically it is a trunk on wheels but is molded for the kids to ride on. The kids loved it. They were able to scoot around, each held their worldly belongings, and we didn't have to bring our huge stroller! We got many compliments so the kids felt extra special. Overall, a great gimmick!

by Paula on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

3 words. Portable dvd player! I always buy a new movie before the flight. The $10 to $20 is well worth it. I have a 6 and 11 year old. But we have been traveling with a dvd player for over 5 years now. I always make sure they listen with headphones though. I don't like to listen to other people's movies on the plane.

by Sue on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Wow! Lots of great comments. I think people have covered the basics. My son is 8 and we have travelled short flights stateside and longer flights to Europe and Hawaii. The keys for me were/are:

1. little ones: drink a bottle during take off and landing, bigger ones: juice box or candy (sorry, but it works);
2. toddlers and older: run around the airport (some airports even have designated areas for kids);
3. pack your kids favorite snacks and meals;
4. bring compactly what you can to entertain them - for us the PSP is it - it plays movies and video games, we also play card games and activity books (I always buy a new one for a big trip and save it for the flight)
5. sit next to the window (that way they can snuggle up to you and if they kick - they kick you or the wall - not other passengers)
6. overnight flights or naptime for kids help out a lot
7. the MAIN pointer is execution of all the above to where you space it out during the flight to cover the whole time you're in the air - makes all the difference in the world (to you and your fellow passengers)

by Kim on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

When our kids were little we would have them sit crisscross applesauce to keep from kicking the seat in front. Since they are older now we try to book a non emergency row bulkhead (no seat in front, no kicking the seat). If that's not an option we sit two and two, one group in front of the other. Our youngest sits in the set behind and the rest take turns changing seats. The kicker kicks a family member. We also gather fun things for the kids and package it up in a gift bag ( don't wrap anything, TSA will get the fun of opening it up.) The Kids enjoy having something to discover and we have the joy of seeing how well we know our kids.

by Robin on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

1. Life savers or gum for takeoff and landing. If a little kid is fussing, look them straight in the eye and start yawning. It will get them yawning too and equalize the pressure in the ears.
2. The greatest idea I've ever had on a plane is this - hand the kid a pen and tell them to draw mustaches on all the women in the in-flight magazine. Let them know they're only allowed to do this on an airplane. This will give you at least an hour of quiet contentment.
3. If you see/hear other children acting up or screaming, remember to thank your own child(ren) for not doing that, for being better behaved, and for setting a good example.
4. Reverse the roles - ask your child "Can I get up and go to the restroom a hundred times? Can I jump up and down and kick the seat in front of me? Can I go tell the pilot that he left his turn signal on?" If the child has to explain the rules of good behavior to you, they will be less likely to violate them.

by merkin4 on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

For kids older than 6 or so, pay them a quarter for every hour they are ALL good -- this works great whether on planes, trains or automobiles. That way they don't taunt one another. We used this trick when going to Disneyworld -- they only lost 1 hour's of bribes! On the way home they didn't fight at all. For the little ones, talk to your doctor but Benydrl works great to keep the ears clear and it makes them drowsy -- esp when you get them up at 4 am for a 6am flight or are flying late in the evening.

by Jim J. on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

A great idea is to practice being on the plane at home with a fake "plane ride". Line up some chairs the way they are on the plane and have the kids sit down. When they inevitably start kicking the chair in front of them, talking loud, etc, you tell them that's not allowed and show the proper behavior. This way they know what the expectations are ahead of time when it's time for the real flight.

by Rachel on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I have 4 boys: ages 7, 5, 2 and an infant. We fly a lot because we live away from family. I have always had compliments from fellow passengers on how well behaved the kids are. Here are some tips that have worked for us:

1-For infants, I always take my boppy pillow. It helps with nursing (for takeoff and landing). The baby can sleep on the boppy and I am able to have both hands free.
2- For toddlers and older kids, I always bring one empty sippy cup for each child. When the flight attendant comes with the drinks, I just ask him/her to fill up the sippy cup instead and we don't have to worry about spills.
3-A portable DVD player is well worth the investment!
4- Each child has their own tiny carry-on backpack so they can take care of their own items. They have their own coloring/writing stuff and carry their own snacks.
5-Sometimes I will go to the dollar store and pick up "a treasure surprise" (aka junk) that the kids are excited to have to break up the time.
6 For ears: about 30 minutes before we land, I always give my kids a dose of tylenol and some sort of decongestant. I make sure they have something to drink in their cups as we land. They also have gum to chew if they'd rather do that. As we land, I also will massage the backs of their ears to help the pressure equalize.
I hope these help! Good luck!

by Jamie on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

For kids still in car seats (mine are 2 and 4) it has always been extremely helpful to lug that car seat with you. We have flown a lot and they are accustumed to sitting still, when in their car seat, so it makes keeping them happy and well behaved, much easier. I bought the type of car seat that is foldable and fits in a backpack, so it is easier to travel with. (You'll also be sure to have it with you for your car when you arrive, should your other luggage be delayed.)

by Mel on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

The one must-have is a portable DVD player and their favorite movie. It is well worth the money spent when the kids are quiet and not disturbing to anyone else.

by Connie S. on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

We've been flying with our kids since they were tiny. We always try to bring along some travel toys that are new (never seen before the trip) to entertain them. Try yes/no books with magic pens, new kids mags, mazes, etc. Have more than you think you'll need-they get bored fast! We also took goodies to "bribe" passengers who were kind or helped us, like good chocolates or $5 starbuck cards.

by Randy on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

First off, when I traveled with little ones, I NEVER got on board early -- I always felt the less time on board the better. Sometimes you can sit there for an eternity while waiting for the rest of the cabin to fill -- this can make the trip unbearable for a kid (it worked for me). Plenty of little toys and amusement items are important, along with the usual supply of drinks, etc. Toys shouldn't include annoying police cars with sirens and the like. A little sucker, piece of gum (or bottle, or ...) for takeoffs/landings is a must. Don't hand out ALL the toys at once. Milk what you've got and for as long as you can -- maybe you won't have to go through the entire bag of tricks which can be a bonus for the trip back home. As a parent, you need to WATCH your kids -- all the time. Kicking the seat in front is NOT permitted -- PERIOD. It's ok to walk your little one down the aisle from time to time, but let's not turn it into a show, ok? Others like to use the aisle too and your kid is not loved by everyone as much as you might think. Talk to your kids before you go on a trip. "Look! A jet! In 2 weeks we're getting on a jet and ..." "Next week we're getting on a jet, like the one we saw earlier." "Tomorrow we're ...." It helps. Also include a discussion on expected behavior, including how you and others are supposed to behave.

That's all I can think of now. Be imaginative. And be considerate.

by Brian on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I have two kids now 5 and 7. We travel at least 4 times a year from Denver to Florida and we go to Mexico every summer. I invested in each kids own DVD player. Each time we leave they get to have food they are never allowed to eat, one new movie each and a bunch of small gift wrapped age appropriate toys ( the kind you could care less if they return). I pack a second stash in the suitcase for return flights. I always fly at naptime or mealtime and bring their favorite food aboard with me. You must have plenty of snacks too. Finally please let them run in the airport away from others. I have yet to find an airport where there was not some space they could run, bounce and squeal to their heart delight ( except for New York). I also love to give time warnings...10 minutes till all of the wiggles must be out. I have had many compliments on my kids behavior in the past 7 years but I will also hold them down physically with a hand clapped over their mouth if they are disruptive and they know i will do it and make a huge show of it for the sake of other passengers....they now find this way to embarrassing to handle so a simple threat works! And all of that without having to hit ( or as some call it Spank) them.

by Rala on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

If the kicking of the back of my seat becomes too odious, I turn and ask the adult to please have the child stop doing it!
It usually works and at least the problem has been acknowledged. Sometimes the adult doesn't realize the child is doing it and also the child doesn't realize how unpleasant it is for the person in the seat being kicked. I do try to be polite about it!

by Jo Hall on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

When our son was small (under 1 year), the key was to use one of those boppy pillows on our lap. That filled the gap between our body and the back of the seat in front. Our son could lay on the boppy without the fear of him falling off. Mom and Dad could even doze off without worry!

by Steve on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

We've been traveling (mainly Boston to Orlando) with our 3 boys since they were babies. My tips for traveling with kids are:
1) We pack a backpack or bag for each kid. Inside are new small toys and treats (nothing with small parts or wheels - too easy to lose) including food and drink.
2) We bring a complete change of clothes for each kid. Even now, they are 13, 11 and 8. We've had spills mid flight and it helps to have a new outfit.
3) We also pack some books, stickers, paper, magazines, to help with boredom. Also gameboys now that they're older.
4) We fly JetBlue. That TV is a great babysitter!

by Beth on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My 9 month old son has flown on 3 different round trips. While it was easiest when he was 2 months old, it really isn't that difficult if you plan ahead. I recently took him from Boston to Panama by myself. I had a bag of clothes, food, and toys. I had a few of his favorite toys along with a few new ones. I learned to keep a bib on him the entire time we're in the air. It's just easier if he spits up or spills to change the bib instead of a whole outfit. Change him right before you board since most planes don't have changing stations. I request a window seat so he can look out and lean against that without disturbing people. You can ask them to hold the seat next to you and have it one of the last ones filled. We ended up having it empty 2 of our last 4 flights. During take off and landing, they should be drinking or eating. It doesn't have to be drinking - they just need to have their jaws moving to pop their ears (this is why gum works for adults). I always let him move as much as possible prior to boarding so he's not so squirmy. Board at the very end so you aren't containing them any longer than necessary. If you're flying as the only adult, bring a stroller. It might seem like extra work when you can just carry them, but there are times you need a place to put them like when you need to use the washroom. Bring extras of everything because chances are your flight will be delayed.

by Stephanie on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

In this day and age, it is key to treat air travel with kids as you would a camping trip with NO facilities. Bring all the favorite entertainment, food, etc. that your child will need. Don't count on airlines for any of this. We also found that, for longer flights, it is (oddly enough) better to take connecting flights. The ability to get off the plane and run around before the next flight was really helpful. Finally, fly at naptime or bedtime whenever possible!

by Mil on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I do not have kids but have observed two wonderful examples of traveling with kids this year. One set of parents tag-teamed to keep their little one entertained. They had a huge bag full of treats and toys. One a two-hour flight, this two-year old fussed only once and he was awake the entire trip. The other parent was a mom traveling with an infant. She too was well-prepared with toys and treats. Her little one slept and played and ate the entire four-hour trip with two whimpers. I would travel with either of these parents and children again!

by Lois on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

When my kids were small if we had to fly anywhere with them, one thing we always made sure to do was do have them actively drinking at the time of takeoff and landing. That kept their little eustachian tubes open and allowed them a pain-free and the other passengers a screaming-free flight.

When they were babies, I'd just give them a bottle. As they got older, we'd make a big deal of allowing them to choose ANY drink they wanted but they had to wait to drink it till I said go. I'd use the narrowest straw I could find for them and tell them to sip slowly but constantly till takeoff/landing was complete.

Always worked for us. Thank goodness!

by Barb. on Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Popular Destinations

Popular Routes

Holiday Travel with the Kids: How to Deal

Airfarewatchblog