Throughout 2016, Orlando was the most searched destination on Airfarewatchdog. This got us thinking, why would anyone want to go to Orlando? I mean it’s too warm, full of beaches, and last we heard the food was too trendy. So, our fare analysts dug deeper and found seven reasons why you should never visit. Let us know in the comments if you can think of any more reasons.
Yeah it’s winter—the best season of them all. If you’re from the Northeast or any other snow globe region of the U.S., you’re probably in a state of bliss (pun intended). The back breaking snow shoveling and power outages are exactly what you need this season. If that’s the case—make sure to avoid Orlando. It’s not a tropical paradise, but temperatures in the winter have average highs in the 70s and after March temperatures soar into the 80s.
Concrete, weird smells, and rats are all the favorite trimmings of living in an urban jungle. Sadly, Orlando actually has nature and beautiful-untouched landscapes. If you head about an hour southeast of Orlando there is a pristine place with little to no people, known as Forever Florida. If you prefer rats and stinky subway tunnels, you’ll be disappointed with the natural beauty of Forever Florida. For those interested, visitors can experience zip lining, tours, and an eco-safari while visiting the conservation area.
Too Much Sand
Most of us prefer to chill on our sofas and watch TV all the time. We all know, what really matters in life is every new Netflix series and shows about people richer than you. Feeling the sand between your toes and the breeze of the ocean is horrible for your mood and your skin, right? If you’re not one of those people—Orlando is within a few hours’ drive to some of the best beaches. From Cocoa Beach to Clearwater Beach there is something for everyone. If you do decide to venture from your sofa, make sure to pack your beach bag and sunscreen.
Shopping until you drop will break the bank, and we mean literally. No one wants to break the bank … without banks where will we get loans and cash checks? If you’re worried, make a strong effort to avoid Orlando. You’ll get lost shopping here. The city has a huge variety of outlet and factory stores that will surely make a dent in your bank account. If designer brands like Kate Spade and Ted Baker are your kryptonite, make sure to head to the Orlando International Premium Outlets. Other outlet shopping in the city can be done at Orlando Vineland Premium Outlets, Lake Buena Vista Factory Stores, and Outlet Marketplace. Remember we warned you and can’t be held liable for any broken banks.
Corporate America and carbon copy cafes are all the rage these days. With Starbucks and Dunkin located in just about every city, you probably don’t want organic or locally brewed coffee. I mean, tasting the same iced coffee every day for the rest of your life is the best way to live, just ask any New Englander. If you’re interested in more alternative cafes, believe it or not Orlando is the place to go. I mean it’s not Seattle but it has a few hip spots such as Vespr and Axum—both of which carry their own sense of coffee and style.
And, if you’re interested in songwriting or other creative endeavors check out Downtown Credo; they have workshops and a songwriter’s stage that brings together the music and talent community of Orlando. Pro tip: try to avoid smiling and actually liking your coffee.
When it comes to food, the blander the better, right? I mean everyone loves fast food and standard American fare. If you prefer to eat only burgers and tasteless food, please cancel ALL flights to Orlando. This city has a bustling food scene—one that would drive a bland foodie insane. From an array of themed restaurants like Hard Rock Café and Captain America Diner to local trendsetting spots like Soco and Swine and Sons Provisions, the food culture revolution is happening here and it’s quite the horror story. Last thing we heard, bland foodies were writing some very tasteless Yelp reviews.
And of Course … Theme Parks
This might be the only reason for many to avoid Orlando, but if you’re into amusement parks, roller coasters, and thrill rides—Orlando is the capital of all things amusement parks. After all, what other American city has over ten of them?