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Excuse me, can you please stop kicking my seat?

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Excuse me, can you please stop kicking my seat?

Posted by Tracy Stewart on Monday, November 16, 2009

Here's a question we recently put to our friends on Twitter: What's the best (and nicest!) way to go about asking a parent to intervene when their child is kicking your seat back? And please note, we said the nicest way, so put away that fistful of Ritalin, Señor Snarkypants.

Some folks might feel uncomfortable with the idea of bypassing the parent and addressing the child directly, although that's what one reader suggested. Another Twitterer thought it best to involve a flight attendant, and let them ask on your behalf. "We're timid," they said.

And are you above bribes? Would it feel smarmy to offer the parent a prepaid gift card? Maybe buy them a drink? What would you do? Feel free to peruse the comments thus far on Twitter and Facebook, and tell us how you'd handle the situation below.

Categories: Air Travel

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I once asked a rather useless flight attendant to ask the kid behind me to cease the kicking. The flight attendant rudely asked me, "Why can't you do it?". I told her in a very aggravated fashion that at that point, 2 hours into the flight, that I was so very annoyed, that there was absolutely no way that I could ask in a polite fashion. She proceeded to ask the parent in an almost mocking fashion, probably winking and using hand signals to give the kid permission to kick so more... Go work at the morgue if people skills is not your thing! You can treat the dead as distastefully as you want.
by Kami Asana on Monday, July 04, 2011
The advice by traveller on how she/he handles her children was excellent. It should be copied and handed out to every person travelling with small children. I'm going to send it to my flight attendant daughter in law.
by nan on Thursday, January 21, 2010
I was flying from Zurich to Boston (~8 hrs) with a young girl behind kicking my seat. Requests to her (with meaningful glances at her father) worked only temporarily, so I finally got frustrated and told her father, who was sitting next to her, that he was going to have to find her a different seat. "But then she'll just kick someone else's seat," he said. "Yes, exactly so," I replied. He swapped seats with her, I got some relief, and she eventually fell asleep.
by been there on Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I'd say tax or ticket the parent and split fee with person in seat and airlines. Why not, everything else is getting taxed/charged ;-).
by kristee on Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Well, my 85 year old Mother had the perfect answer. She got fed up with the child behind her kicking her seat. So, she turned around and stuck her tongue out at him. That solved it!
by solution on Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I have no problem asking, or telling, a parent or the child him/herself to stop kicking my seatback. if that doesn't work, I turn around in my seat, look mean, and TELL them to stop and tell the parent they need to make their child behave. The parents of these children are generally the ones who feel that to discipline their child is wrong, so its really the parents that need adjustment.
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by fake watch on Friday, December 04, 2009
We had this happen all the way from Orlando to San Francisco, a brother & sister about 2 and 4 years old. Parents would just smile and do nothing. Come to find out, whenever the kicking stopped as the children dozed off, Mom or Dad would pinch them to awaken them which would start the kicking and some crying (it hurts!) all over again. Parents said at flight's end that they didn't want the children to sleep until they got them home...great! The flight attendant wouldn't do anything and we couldn't move seats as the flight was full. Felt bad for the kids in the end but too bad child protective services wasn't waiting to greet the parents when the plane landed....a very frustrating end to a nice vacation.
by Old Fogey on Thursday, November 19, 2009
The parent should be aware enough of the child to know that he/she is kicking the seat. If not, then it would be appropriate to ask them to stop it. Flight attendants can't be everywhere and do everything!
by KKG on Wednesday, November 18, 2009
We had this problem returning from Portland last year on an Alaska Airlines flight. Three children ages 10 to 14 were sitting behind my husband, my adult son and me. All 3 were constantly kicking. Each of us in my family very politely and nicely asked them to stop. When they didn't, we asked a flight attendant to talk to them. The flight attendant looked at these cute girls and said to them, "you're not kicking the seats in front of you now, are you?" Obviously, that did no good. Fortunately, the flight was only 2 hours but we could not wait to get out of our seats. We had assumed the children were travelling alone. When we go up, we found that their parents had been sitting across the aisle and paid no attention to their kids during the entire flight. While we were standing in the aisle, waiting to get off the plane, the father of the girls pushed against me and starting talking rudely. When my son asked him to stop pushing, the guy tried to throw a punch at my son even though I (61 years old) was in the way. The flight attendants did nothing. Other passengers interceded, reported the guy to the pilot, and escorted us to baggage claim and basically kept the nut away from us. No Alaska employee did a thing. So much for protecting their passengers. It's no surprise seeing their father in action that those girls had no regard for others. What was the excuse for the flight attendant?
by rogo on Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I don't know why the person under assault needs to be polite to a parent who usually ignores the rude behavior of the children. After politely asking a parent to control his child's feet I finally demanded that he switch seats with the kid and he sit in the middle. Believe it or not, he did.
by rdsqrl on Wednesday, November 18, 2009
As a parent, I feel for everyone involved. When I expected this would be a problem for my own kids, I seperated my family- with kicking child with me in one row and one of my own children with a sibling or Dad in the seat in front of the kicking child. That way, your kicking your own family -- and believe me, older brother will let little sister know if it gets on his nerves. That way I can work on the "behavior" without worrying as much that each little toe touch will result in a snide comment from the seat in front. I've also moved my entire family to a row where I can strategically place kicking child with an empty seat in front of them. Also, played movies/games/ipod etc and asked child to sit criss cross apple sauce or rotate child so they face me with either their feet in my lap or their head in my lap. Of course, all the same for playing with the tray! Definitely taking shoes off helps. Also, taking them for a walk and trip to bathroom to get a little energy out. Unfortunately, sometimes kids don't travel well despite the parents best efforts(or the child's usually good behavior) Remember, children pick up on the stress level of the parents and are sometimes just acting out)-- too much sugar, too little sleep, stress earaches boredom, gotta pee and cant. etc etc. I agree with all the people that suggest a polite smile and putting child and parent on notice-- Good luck!
by traveller on Wednesday, November 18, 2009
When this happened to me, the mother and child ignored my polite requests and then my stares and when I got the flight attendant involved she threatened to land and put me off the plane, this after I refused to move from my window seat to a middle seat halfway down the plane from my husband (I had been up all night and just wanted to snooze with my head against the window). We traveled quite a bit when our two boys were young--from infancy--and we never allowed this sort of behavior. I am so glad that someone is finally speaking up about parents who don't care if their children disrupt other people's lives with rude behavior.
by Pugo on Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I turned around, smiled and said hi, then very nicely asked the child, just like I would to my own grandchildren - would they please stop kicking the back of my seat because I could feel it right through the seat and it was very uncomfortable. The parent was very appologetic and the child kept their feet on their own seat during the remainder of the flight to Hawaii!
by punch-n-pie on Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I have two children and would not take offense to another passenger nicely asking either one of them to stop kicking their chair. I would want to know. That way I can correct it.
by daizylublue on Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Turn around and look the parent and child in the eye with as nice a smile as you can put on, and say hi, how are you? Wait for an answer, then turn around and sit down. If it happens again, turn around again say hi and wait for a response from the parent. The parent should ask you what's up and wonder why you keep turning around. You then tell the parent that her child is kicking your seat. The parent will be embarrassed and not mad since you were being friendly and kind to them. If it happens again, all you'll need to do is politely turn around and look at the parent sending a message that it's happening again and he/she needs to take care of it.
by ginger on Monday, November 16, 2009
As a parent, I would want someone to ask me rather than my son. One trick I heard as a parent was to take the kiddo's shoes off as soon as they were seated, the kicking the seat doesn't feel so good to thier tootsies! If the parent is unwilling to monitor or correct the behavior, they may be willing to remove Jr.'s shoes. And as a parent, I'm amazed that children are allowed to kick, my son would never have been allowed to do that. If the kid is board, it is the parent's fault for not planning ahead to have appropriate entertainment for them.
by warmbluewater on Monday, November 16, 2009
I'm a parent and frequent traveler, and I say you have to be direct, but be nice. If the child is asked directly and very sweetly to stop, with an explanation of why you want them to stop, it might even help the parent get this message across, and you can be sure the parent will get the message too. Remember that it doesn't occur to the child that kicking that inanimate object so conveniently located just in front of their feet causes an earthquake for the passenger hiding on the other side. Very sweetly. Protecting one's young from aggression is a biologic imperative. Then you can escalate to the flight attendant. But ultimately, life is tough. If you want the species to survive, you have to accept that kids have short memories.
by platinum parent on Monday, November 16, 2009
Well of course there is always duct tape. It worked for me :)
by JohnnyBoy4u on Monday, November 16, 2009
A gift card to get them to teach their child to behave? You must be kidding. I'm one of those boomers without kids, appalled by how many of my generation have abandoned parental responsibility. I first ask the kid, nicely, and then I ask the parent, nicely but more pointedly. And if I need to ask again I don't feel the need to lay on the nice. If they want nice, they need to BE nice. As for being so timid as to need to ask the flight attendant to intervene for you: take responsibility for yourself, take a deep breath, and ask politely. What are you afraid of? I think this is as much part of being an adult as making sure your kid does not irritate the people around you.
by Traveling Lizzie on Monday, November 16, 2009
turn around and tell them that it make you feel like throwing up when someone kicks you, so please stop or i may throw up on you!
by chris on Monday, November 16, 2009
Turn around and say you must be an amazing soccer player? or ask "are you practicing your soccer kick?"
by chris on Monday, November 16, 2009
I tell my child when we first board the plane not to do this and when he does, I correct him. FOR ALL THE PARENTS OUT THERE you should be paying attention to what your child is doing!
by MMM on Monday, November 16, 2009
A few years ago I was on a transcontinental flight when the youngster behind me started kicking my seat. After a while I turned around and asked the boy who was 8 or 9 to please stop kicking my seat. His mother, who was seated next to him, said, "Oh, leave him alone... he's bored." I merely looked at the young man and said again, "Young man, I would appreciate it if you could stop, thanks." I turned back and settled into my seat. In a short while the kicking started again so I turned around and looking the kid straight in the eye, said, "Young man, if you don't stop kicking my seat I am going to break your ***** neck" He immediately stopped, his mother was appalled... and when we arrived in NY I thanked him for keeping his part of the "bargain". The youngster replied with a shy smile, "You're welcome." Clearly a case where the boy needed some guidance and wasn't getting it from his own parent.
by BKT-SFO on Monday, November 16, 2009
OUCH audibly the second time [the first time could have been an accident]; the third time stand and look kindly back at the parent and nicely ask if there were anything I could do to help him/her convince the child to stop kicking (then DO help); fourth kick, ask the steward/ess for another seat [and beg my neighbor to bounce his/her seatback up and down on the parent]. In the end: suck it up. Kids do misbehave; when it persists, probably the either child isn't controllable [too young and too sick?] or the parent can't [sick?]. Life isn't perfect and neither am I.
by betsygr@aol.com on Monday, November 16, 2009
I would (and have) asked the parent(s) to control; their child. If they were doing their job as a parent they would have intervened before it got bothersome. Might as well go straight to the source of the problem - the parents, not the result - unruly child. If that doesn't work then I would tell the attendent. but it never got that far before.
by crossroads on Monday, November 16, 2009
I certainly wouldn't bribe the parent, I mean they are the parents for gosh sakes. You shouldn't have to bribe parents to control their kids. Personally, I think the parents are ignorant if they are not aware that their child is kicking the seat in front of them. I am sympathetic to squirmy kids and I usually give the parents a few minutes to get things under control before I say anything. Sometimes just a glance back at them and they get the hint.
by LJ on Monday, November 16, 2009
I ask the child to stop first and then look at the parent and say thank you.
by Trying to sleep on Monday, November 16, 2009
One diplomatic way to handle the situation if no one is sitting next to you & the child (or parent) refuses to cooperate is to offer to switch seats with them. That would solve your problem & possibly embarrass the parent enough to correct it.
by flybynight on Monday, November 16, 2009
"Bribe" a parent?? C'mon. More than once I have turned around and spoken directly to the child, saying "Please don't do that." It usually works. I would only involve a flight attendant if the parent objected to what I said to their child.
by flyaway on Monday, November 16, 2009
Interesting question and I have been there before on BOTH ends. First of all, it really depends on the age---if the child is under say 2 or so, I would say just talk to mom nicely about it the first time. I remember flying first class with my toddler (a few years ago) and while we were still on the tarmac a crotchety guy yelled at my barely two year old for hanging on the back of his seat (he was standing on my lap). Obviously, I was going to sit him down as soon as we traveled down the runway, but he literally snapped at the both of us--in a very mean way. I was so darned mad the rest of the flight---oddly enough, I happened to be sitting next to the VP of USAirways--who was quite possibly the nicest man EVER, who calmed me down from wanting to respond to the guy in a not so nice way after the flight landed. So, I would say asking a parent nicely would be the first step--unless the child is old enough-like 3 or over. Then, I almost think it's easier on the parent traveling with the child if you talk to the child directly. Meaning, I would almost rather a stranger ask my child to stop kicking than them ask me--b/c my child is much more likely to listen to a stranger than me ;-). But, I do think it needs to be handled with respect, at least the first time. For ex: Honey, every time you kick my chair it hurts my back, or I spill my drink, or whatever...please don't do that anymore. If it happens a second time, then call the flight attendant over. Just my two cents.
by plk60614 on Monday, November 16, 2009
Interesting question and I have been there before on BOTH ends. First of all, it really depends on the age---if the child is under say 2 or so, I would say just talk to mom nicely about it the first time. I remember flying first class with my toddler (a few years ago) and while we were still on the tarmac a crotchety guy yelled at my barely two year old for hanging on the back of his seat (he was standing on my lap). Obviously, I was going to sit him down as soon as we traveled down the runway, but he literally snapped at the both of us--in a very mean way. I was so darned mad the rest of the flight---oddly enough, I happened to be sitting next to the VP of USAirways--who was quite possibly the nicest man EVER, who calmed me down from wanting to respond to the guy in a not so nice way after the flight landed. So, I would say asking a parent nicely would be the first step--unless the child is old enough-like 3 or over. Then, I almost think it's easier on the parent traveling with the child if you talk to the child directly. Meaning, I would almost rather a stranger ask my child to stop kicking than them ask me--b/c my child is much more likely to listen to a stranger than me ;-). But, I do think it needs to be handled with respect, at least the first time. For ex: Honey, every time you kick my chair it hurts my back, or I spill my drink, or whatever...please don't do that anymore. If it happens a second time, then call the flight attendant over. Just my two cents.
by plk60614 on Monday, November 16, 2009
I have secured airmile tickets with Delta from Phoenix to Ireland in May, called a long time ago. Can they cancel or change them? Also I get my airmiles with my Delta american express card, it is expensive so, if I cancel the card before the trip will this give them an out to cancel the trip?
by babe on Monday, November 16, 2009
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